My name is Dwight K. Schrute and my vile beanpole of a co-worker stole that which was rightfully mine. This "man" (for lack of a better word) took the thing I love and respect most: power. Now he lords it over me, begging me to step out of line, so he can use his stolen authority to strike me down like I was some sort of highfalutin pig. Well, that's not how I'm going down; instead, I'm going to turn the tables on him. He will be the proverbial piggy following the trail of borscht into ol' Dwight's slaughterhouse.
I have a plan, a diabolical plan to exact my revenge. It's a complex scheme, one that requires an incredible amount of foresight and maneuvering. Fortunately, I'm able to think 30 moves ahead of the average man (it's why I've always excelled at Rock-Paper-Scissors). I'm going to bide my time, shore up my defenses, align my allies, shore up my offenses, and then when he least expects, I will strike back with everything I have and take him down. And after he's deposed, I'll show him this blog so he'll truly understand how dedicated I was to his achieving his suffering. Also, it's really really going to piss him off--the streusel on the streuselkuchen.
Here's where you come in. I can't do this alone. Well, I can (obviously), but it's harvest season and I don't trust my cousin Mose to be alone with our crops. Long story, disturbing stuff. Anyway, I need a name for my revenge plan and I'm looking for you to give me some suggestions. So here's your chance to get in on the retribution while the retribution is getting good.